I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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