i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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