Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize