Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
