one two three fourrrrnication!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
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