hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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