we're chasing vodka with high fives
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just took my morning after pill in the library
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
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