question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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