the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.