I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
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Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.