so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
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we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
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You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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