do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
