Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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