i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
that's an acceptable place to lick
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize