Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
