so let's talk penis.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
