College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
