I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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