I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
