the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sponge bath it is.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
