glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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