As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
