Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I could fuck to npr.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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