Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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