So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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