i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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