Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
