i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
