I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize