I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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