y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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