New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
