Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
