did you get engaged???
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
