Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
