Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
