Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
