i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My balls are so social today.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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