I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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