Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
