There was a lot of him and a little penis
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
