Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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