We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
