You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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