I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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