Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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