Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
