have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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