I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
now i know why i became what i already was.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
