If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
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He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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