he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
