i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
