Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
