forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
