Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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