Just fell off a train. Bad.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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